you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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