i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
