I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
