My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
