Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
