he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
