i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
