does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
do herpes really smell.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
