nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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