so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
