somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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