Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
