The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
