Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
