I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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