i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize