We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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