I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
