Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
