Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
