But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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