Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
