My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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