He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i love accidental penises.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The adults are the big ones right?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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