I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
