I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
