She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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