My hand turned me down
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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