OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
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