how can u be prego again
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
