i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
