I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
