He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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