I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
