She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
