He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I love having hate sex.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
