I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
