I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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