dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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