Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
