good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
