I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
