She said her name was "party"
I smell stomach acid.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I had to cum in my sink.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
