Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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