doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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