Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
