Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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