making cat noises will not fix the situation.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
