Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This is my gift to your gina
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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