Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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